Finding My Place In God's Family: Coming Into the Father's Embrace

I’m sure it began further back, but the first step of my spiritual journey that I can pinpoint was when I was working at the Holmes Public Library. Part of my job was to assist patrons who needed to do research that was beyond what could be found in the card catalog.

One day, a patron came in looking for books on atheism. I found one on our shelves, but assured this person that I could find more using interlibrary loan. The patron left with the book, and I set to using the several large volumes that gave me synopses of books that could be borrowed from Taunton or Boston. I tried to find ones I thought most readable, and in doing so became interested in this idea of atheism. I thought perhaps it described my present thinking, since I had no real belief in God, and decided to read one or two of the books as they came in.

Fast forward several months later. My father had a double hip replacement, and two days after the second, had a blood clot that lodged in his lung and killed him instantly. He was 58 yrs old. I was a senior in high school. One of the first things I did (after having to be the family member who contacted my older siblings) was to go out to Dad’s garden and shout angrily at God, calling him every name in the book. Yes, this same God that I didn’t believe in.

And so began a journey where I can honestly say I did not seek God, but rather He gently and lovingly called me to him. 

This began through a set of friends who had no idea what to say to me after Dad’s death (he was an assistant principal in our high school), but showed up anyway, taking me for walks on the beach, or to a movie, or out for ice cream. They did this right away, and they continued to do it all year, until one spring day, a friend mentioned that his youth group was putting on a cantata and needed a few other singers / actors, etc., would I be interested? I went, discovered other people from my high school (you could have knocked me over with a feather!), and so began my walk in faith. 

It was obvious to me from the beginning that the doctrine of this particular denomination was not going to match my life values, but I was surrounded by teens and adults who loved me and cared for me. It made a huge impression on me. I went off to college and joined a Christian fellowship there.

After graduation, I worked as a teacher on the North Shore and found a church that was TRULY home. It was a tiny church with a small congregation who felt as strongly about faith and caring for others as I did (sound familiar?). The pastor gave sermons that helped me understand more fully this Bible that I had been trying to wrap my head around. The friends I made there and the lessons I learned have helped form who I am today. It also happens to be where I met and married Allan!

I thought I would never find another church home like that one when we had to move to the South Shore. I even stayed home with the baby while Allan tried out a church in Hanson. It was a larger church, and I was afraid I would never click with anyone. I mourned my North Shore church family. But that Hanson church became our home for nearly 25 years, and where Allan served as youth pastor and our own three boys found many “siblings” over the years (I still count 5 extra sons and at least 8 extra daughters!)

Eventually, God nudged us away from that church and to Silver Lake Chapel, where we later discovered the congregation had been praying for someone to come through the doors to take over from Rev. Hank Belcher, who was hoping to retire soon. The day I walked into the Chapel, the message on the back of the bulletin was “Welcome Home,” and I knew that Jesus was here and I had found a new home.

God has been so faithful through all of this. He has held my hand through multiple crises and through joyous times. He has sent people into my life who held my hand, prayed with me, cried with me, and laughed with me till our sides hurt. May others who find our Chapel feel the same presence of the Living God that I have found here.

Tina Palmer